Sorry, President Zuma, but your shirt collar was the giveaway.
It happens to just about every older man that I’ve met. You look in the mirror and suddenly that fine, strong neck, which has supported your equally handsome head for the past 60 or 70 years, has turned thinner and more scraggly. Tendons stand out, wrinkles have appeared where there were none before, and your shirt collar is one or two sizes too big. The knot in your tie is somehow sitting on your chest. It’s not your neck any more. It’s your father’s. Or your grandfather’s.
The immediate remedy is not plastic surgery, but to buy some new shirts. The problem is that you usually notice this change in your appearance for the first time as you dress for an important occasion. Like a State of the Nation speech to Parliament. New shirts are not usually available at such short notice, even if you are the President.
Let me be clear about a couple of things.
First, I speak from experience. About three years ago, I decided to lose weight and, for once, was happily successful, shedding 12 kilos or so. But there it was: the next time I put on a formal shirts, I had somehow acquired my Dad’s neck. It’s not a pleasant feeling.
Second, unlike Julius Malema, I wish President Zuma no harm at all. I mention this because another cause of “old man’s neck”, if I may call it that, is the weight loss associated with ill-health. We know Zuma has had to rest as a result of his hectic election campaign and reports from Parliament ahead of his big speech say that he was not as steady on his feet as he could have been. I may not always agree with Zuma’s politics but I wish him a swift recovery and many long years of rude good health.
But here’s the problem. In his State of the Nation speech, President Zuma outlined a nation that is close to full-blown crisis. We have electricity supply problems that are constraining economic growth. Add to that some poisonous industrial relations, rising government debt, dire social inequality and an education system that is severely under-performing, to name just a few of the major issues. In addition, the world’s largest ratings agency has just downgraded our sovereign debt to a single notch above junk, while another has said that it doubts that President Zuma and his government have the ability to turn the situation around.
Looking at President Zuma’s shirt collar, I share these doubts. Let us charitably leave aside the fact that Zuma and his team’s performance over the last five years is what has dragged us into this mess. The list of challenges and problems outlined above is not one for the faint of heart, let alone the physically infirm. To turn South Africa round right now is going to require immense energy from its leader. He will have to confront, cajole, argue, persuade, berate, inspire, manage, and just downright lead for a good 16 hours a day, probably seven days a week, for many months. It will be a mountain to climb, physically and mentally.
We know that the Jacob Zuma of old has many of these qualities, including the necessary energy. (Whether he has always deployed them adequately or competently is the subject of another discussion, of course.) But for whatever reason, that person was not on display in Parliament during the State of the Nation speech. In other words, the country’s turnaround is being led by someone who simply may not be up to the task physically. I hope for all of our sakes that I’m wrong.
Happily for the nation, should President Zuma’s health prove to be the cause of his problems, we have Deputy President Cyril Ramaphosa standing right beside him. The ex-trade union boss, by way of contrast, looked to be extremely fit and well. And yes, his shirt collar still fits him very snugly indeed.